I've wanted to take a few moments to share a little bit about our time in Bamenda, enjoying fellowship with the other missionaries with the Cameroon Baptist Convention. I confess that I was not certain beforehand that I was really looking forward to this time. To the entire family's surprise, we all were very thankful to have made the trek on the dust-covered roads to the Cameroon Missionary Fellowship (CMF). The kids were nervous about the kids program and what it would be like to be away from mom and dad for the meetings. I was a little uncertain about a busy schedule and managing naps and caring for Isaiah.
I have to mention, briefly, that traveling the road in dry season looks somewhat like traveling in Wisconsin in January. The dust is very similar to snow in its appearance as it sprays up from the wheels and covers everything. There are even times when you feel as though you are driving through a bit of a dust blizzard. We are so very grateful for God's protection and for the grace that He has given to Gerald, our driver. Gerald makes this trek sometimes multiple times during the week, and I have come to learn that it is both physically and mentally exhausting to drive the roads safely.
Our time at CMF was a wonderful blessing. Some of the missionaries had brought in a team of four from Connecticut to lead the children's program. This was a great VBS type program for the kids. They had a great time playing games, doing crafts, and memorizing Scripture. They also enjoyed simply having some adults with energy caring for them and other kids to run and play with. Micah is actually thinking maybe we should stay in Cameroon so that he can go to CMF again next year. :-)
The time for Dale and I was refreshing and a very nice break. We were even able to do a little grocery shopping without the 4 older boys and also have some moments just to relax and talk together. I think one of the greatest things about this time in Bamenda, however, was all that we learned during the times with the other missionaries... those who have been here and are committed to serving here for many years. These are some of the things that Dale and I learned that we want to share with you. (Please note: We are not career missionaries and are not writing from our own experience. We do not write this to attempt to affect the responses of our friends and family to our ministry either while we are here in Cameroon or after we return.)
1. MK’s: This time at CMF, along with the homeschool co-op that meets twice each year, is extremely important for the missionary kids. Though the kids are learning a great deal on the mission field, they often are struggling to build relationships with other children who are very different from them. Because of cultural differences, language barriers, and differences in the way that children are raised, many of the missionary kids don’t spend much time at all with the other children in their villages.
2. Culture Shock: It’s somewhat hard to believe that the return culture shock is often more difficult than the initial culture shock that is experienced when a family moves over seas. We had many conversations with missionaries who feel this is the reality. Why? These are some of the things that were shared:
1. Serving in a different culture means that you change, and often times your friends and family back home aren’t ready to accept that.
2. Also, your friends and family back home will likely go through some major life changes while you are gone, but too often, they don’t tell you about them until you return. Many said they came home and were expected to know that their church had split or a friend’s father passed away, but no one ever wrote asking for prayer or informing them.
3. While you might think grocery shopping in America would be easier, many of them say there are so many choices and so many places to go that it is actually paralyzing.
4. It’s often hard for missionaries to rejoin their church community. Some of them said it is actually easier to fellowship in a church where nobody knows they are missionaries. Then they are not treated as though they are supposed to be some sort of super-Christians or are too busy to engage into the community life.
5. On the other hand, some said that while they want to reconnect, it may take them a little bit of time. It is often hard to initiate becoming involved in a small group or even just meeting with an old friend. A specific invitation is much better than a general one. One missionary said that she connected with few people on furlough because when she was told, “Let’s have coffee some time,” it meant that she needed to make the call and set the date.
3. Supporting Churches, friends and family: We heard great stories and very sad stories from missionaries related to how they were cared for by friends, family, and churches while out on the field, as well as when they returned home for furlough. Here are a few things that we learned from what they shared:
While On the Field-
1. Let them know you are praying for them. Read their newsletters, ask questions if necessary, and pray.
2. Mail is wonderful, especially when such care is taken that a birthday card actually arrives before their birthday. (This sometimes means sending it two months ahead of time.)
3. News from home is always appreciated, especially if you can send it without always expecting a timely response.
4. Short term teams sent from supporting churches are extremely encouraging, usually. They love to have you come and serve along side of them and learn about the culture they live in. Unfortunately, we also heard about a team that came hoping more for an adventurous vacation, and not at all prepared to engage the culture, endure harder circumstances, and encourage without being overly critical of the way of life they were coming to serve in. (One short termer was actually found washing her hair with filtered water because the running water was out and all water was becoming scarce.)
5. Many missionaries still need their churches to send them sermons. Though many churches are now putting sermons online, many missionaries lack internet access or have such slow internet that it is impossible to download them. They need the hard copies. Many of them are fellowshipping in a church where they can’t understand the sermon or the sermon is entirely unbiblical.
6. We also learned that often times people back home assume that their missionaries have made new best friends with their teammates. We think that they should get along so easily since they are all missionaries and out serving God half way across the world. The reality is that they need more prayer, encouragement, and often even counseling and wisdom from pastors back home than you might think. Some teammates have strongly opposing theological views, making it difficult to teach a course together, translate Scripture together, or plant a church. When they are the only ex-patriots within hours of each other, naturally, they share a closeness and a companionship that is unlike what you may share with you neighbor in the US. However, we heard numerous stories of substantial conflict resulting from differing personalities and differing parenting philosophies among other things.
7. Unfortunately, we also heard a story of a family that lost one of their supporters because they had taken a week of vacation at the beach.
At Home/Furlough:
1. Some of the missionaries told us they have 40-50 supporting churches! That means that when they have a 9 month furlough, all of their time is spent travelling throughout the US and Canada giving reports and connecting with supporting congregations. They return to the mission field exhausted. As a church in America, maybe we need to look at how much we are giving and how we are caring for those we send out, instead of how many we are sending/supporting. (Missionaries don’t have 40 supporting churches because they are greedy. They need more churches to come along side them because so little is being given.)
2. The experience that missionaries have when reporting to their churches varies greatly. Some felt they had many opportunities to share with the congregation about their missions, while others said they may have driven 6-8 hours and had three minutes to share about the last 3 years of their ministry. We also were told that most of the missionaries feel that there are very few people that are really interested in knowing any more than what can be shared in 3 minutes. Unfortunately, this is also what friends and family are communicating.
3. One couple shared with us that the best care they received was from a pastor who recommended that they spend some time in counseling. It wasn’t because he sensed something was broken and needing to be fixed, but because he knew that it would bring forth conversation that would strengthen them for the work God had prepared for them.
4. One of the greatest challenges that missionaries shared with us was that they felt many people assumed they knew what the missionary on furlough needed in terms of care from their churches and friends, but few people ever asked.
5. A few other wonderful experiences with churches that missionaries shared with us: one couple said they went on their first date in three years because someone offered to watch their kids, another family said that after travelling and giving reports throughout furlough, they were delighted when one of their church’s mission’s committees decided to meet with them at Chuck E Cheese, one of the women mentioned the value of having been personally invited to a women’s Bible study at her church, one missionary mentioned that some former missionaries advised their church on practical care packages which were given to them while home for a missions conference, and many of the missionaries said that they were confident that there were people in their churches that were praying regularly for them.
While some of these things may not be characteristic of all missionaries and may be more typical for those ministering in Africa, most of what was shared with us, we felt was insightful and helpful in shaping our own desire to care for and encourage missionaries. We are thankful for the time we had with all of the missionaries we were able to briefly get to know in Bamenda, and we continue to pray that God would use our time here in Cameroon to open our eyes to see how we can serve Him faithfully and encourage others to do so also.
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